December 2010
5 posts
8 tags
Types of People at the Mall
I worked at the mall for a few years. I realized there were a lot of strange people. This post is about the different type of people in malls.
The Seasoned Vet 29 Year Old –
Age 16 – First job, he’s excited as ever that he’s making $5 an hour.
Age 18 – Graduated high school, ready to attend college, needs a part-time job to pay for books and other school essentials.
Age 23 – Graduating College...
11 tags
Snack Characters
Trix Rabbit – I feel like this guy got the raw end of the deal. He’s clearly an addict and his addiction is Trix cereal. Why he chose this particular brand of cereal is beyond me. He’s the damn spokesman for the brand and a bunch of snot nosed kids are constantly telling him “Silly Rabbit, Trix are for kids”. If I have a son and he pulls this line on me when I’m trying to eat some Trix, I am going...
10 tags
Holiday Gifts!
It’s the holiday season and I’m sure everyone is scrambling to buy a gift for a loved one. Every time, I see these commercials advertising gifts, you see the woman getting a 24 karat diamond ring and what does the guy get? We get a damn toolbox. What is this? What am I gonna do with a damn toolbox?
I am not Bob the Builder. Men like tools and paint. Who came up with this lie? This has to rank as...
12 tags
Hero
I am a hero.
I may not have superpowers other than my great powers of writing really entertaining blogs about my useless observations but I did save a man’s life. It was three weeks ago and I saw a man choking. Being the great guy I am, I went and started performing the Heimlich maneuver on him. I assumed I would do a thrust and all of a sudden whatever that was stuck in his throat would shoot...
9 tags
Prince Charming
I haven’t wrote one of these in two years. I personally don’t find this one funny.. oh well
How is this guy charming? Dictionary.com defines charming as “1. a man who embodies a woman’s romantic ideal.
2. a man who avidly seeks the attention and affections of women; ladies’ man.“
I constantly hear women talking about how they’re waiting for their Prince Charming. Let’s...
May 2010
3 posts
5 tags
5 tags
Short guys aren't attractive?
A few months ago, my cousin pointed out something he read in a school textbook. It said ‘Women are not attracted to very short men’. My initial reaction was ‘yah obviously?’
They actually had to do a study to figure this out? It’s like saying BREAKING NEWS! REPORTS INDICATE, DRUNK DRIVERS ARE DANGEROUS! This isn’t breaking news, its common sense.
Side Note: I went to court the other day for a...
2 tags
Ranking The 50 States
50. Montana – It has the terrain as Afghanistan and probably the same education level too.
49. North Dakota – If someone with a gun came up to me and said he’d shoot me unless I named ONE city in all of North Dakota. I’d lose, I’d just be like ‘look man, just shoot me, I lost.’
48. South Dakota – Doesn’t matter if it’s North, South, East, or West… Dakota=Dakota and I feel sorry for anyone who has...
April 2010
4 posts
5 tags
People at Clubs - Part One - Men
After going to my fair share of clubs I’ve noticed only a certain type of people go to these places. Almost every clubber falls into one of these categories (obviously there are exceptions).
*Note – After writing this, I realized there are a lot of bird references* *Warning! If you get offended easily, get out*
Types of GUYS at clubs
The Guy Who Claims He Can Get You In– He’s that one guy you...
People at Clubs - Part One - Women
After going to my fair share of clubs I’ve noticed only a certain type of people go to these places. Almost every clubber falls into one of these categories (obviously there are exceptions).
*Note – After writing this, I realized there are a lot of bird references* *Warning! If you get offended easily, get out of here*
*This does NOT include bars, only CLUBS*
Types of GIRLS at clubs
The...
8 tags
7 tags
What's That Smell?!?
For the last five to six months, I’ve come to the realization that I have lost all sense of smell. It’s getting annoying, I want to smell again!
Random Person: Hey Masoud, do you smell that?
Me: No, what is it?
Random Person: How do you not smell that?
Another Random Person: ‘Ahhh man, what’s that smell?!?!’
Everyone else: ‘Disgusting! What is that!?’
Me: What smell? I don’t smell anything,...