For the last five to six months, I’ve come to the realization that I have lost all sense of smell. It’s getting annoying, I want to smell again!
Random Person: Hey Masoud, do you smell that?
Me: No, what is it?
Random Person: How do you not smell that?
Another Random Person: ‘Ahhh man, what’s that smell?!?!’
Everyone else: ‘Disgusting! What is that!?’
Me: What smell? I don’t smell anything, WHAT SMELL!!
I must admit though, not being able to smell anything has its benefits. No longer do I have to worry about the guy who has bad breathe being such a close talker. No longer do I have to worry about the drunk guy smelling like homelessness. No longer do I have to worry about the guy with awful B.O. at the gym.
But still, I feel very out of the loop when things like this happen. I feel like the black sheep in a herd of white sheep. I don’t want to be the black sheep; I want to be the white sheep, the one just following the crowd with no sense of individuality. I want to be in the loop, eating grass with my fellow sheep friends and getting hit with a staff from our loving shepherd. I WANT TO BE WHITE!!
Side note: They say there’s always a ‘black sheep’ in every family. My question is this: does the ‘black sheep’ KNOW they are the black sheep? Or do they think someone else in the family is the black sheep?
I think they don’t know they are the ‘black sheep’; one way to find out is by asking them. ‘Who is the black sheep in your family?’ If they reply ‘nobody’, it’s basic logic that they’re the black sheep. Another way is if they give lame examples, in order to know a black sheep of a family, you gotta give good examples of why they’re the ‘black sleep.’ Things like ‘yah, he robbed a bank’. Bank Robbery equals Black Sheep. Being a hippie whose life goal is getting marijuana legalized equals Black Sheep. Driving a not so nice car does NOT equal Black Sheep. Its questions like these that I am here to answer.
Anyway back to my problem. I checked out the American Disability Act to see if I qualify. According to their website “Under the ADA, an individual with a disability is a person who:
1. has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities. I think not being able to smell limits at least one life activity.
2. has a record of such an impairment. I can make up a fake record, I’m pretty sure that would work
3. is regarded as having such an impairment. What? What does that mean? If I passed one and two, isn’t three a given??
Yup, according to this, it looks like I qualify for a disability. Handicap parking, here I COME!!
- April 27
- , 2010
